Back to Basics

I haven’t posted about my breasts for a while, so let me update you.

Yesterday they changed the gear in my car.

Here’s the situation. I was turning a corner and as I was doing so my travel coffee mug slipped out of its cup holder and into the passenger foot-well. It was empty, so I wasn’t too concerned, but I did want to pick it up. At the next light I leaned over the retrieve it. Once the light changed I tried to accelerate only to hear scary upset noises from my car without any movement. Panic was rising, but I had the sense to check that I was in gear, and I was not. Meaning that as I leaned over to retrieve the fallen coffee mug the gear-shift was manipulated BY MY BOOBS out of gear and into neutral. And its not like I have a wobbly gear shift either. You have to push a button down to get it to change gears. I guess the button was squished either between the boobs or between boob and stomach. Either way, Leopold and Loeb are now actively trying to affect my life. Or at least my ability to accelerate.