resolution

this year i resolve to...

im having trouble filling in that sentence. ive never really been one for resolutions, and so its hard for me to make one. i figure anything i want to do badly enough i'll do. so why make a "resolution" about it at the beginning of a year? mostly things that i really want happen for me, and if they dont then i trick myself into believing that i never really wanted it in the first place.

my new years was brought in with my best friends and alcohol. and dvds. and then, afterwards, puzzles and advil. mostly it was a good new years eve. we ate far too much chinese food, watched art films and my new favorite television show "arrested development". and drank. and attempted to write out our "life lists". my life list was pathetic. i simply couldnt think of anything. it was sad really. there was nothing that i wanted to accomplish, at least nothing i could think of at the moment. ive been meaning to make my life list for a while, and so going through my mundane life, i'll think of things that should be on the list, but my poor little brain can never remember them long enough to make a comprehensive list. and so my life list ended up with three things on it.

1. face a fear
2. make the world a better place
3. learn another language

so there they are. my goals. nothing that cant be done. though i doubt they'll get done this year. which makes me wonder. do these count as new year's resolutions if i have no plans to carry them out this year? also, am i setting my sights a bit high? ive never been good with languages, im a total coward and i have no idea how i would go about making the world a better place with no economic support. its not like im bonno or anything. quandry: for someone as lazy as myself, why on earth would i give myself goals that will more than likely never get accomplished?

moving on. i am delighted that this year is 007. however, its seems to have started with less than a bang. almost everyone ive talked to has said that their new year was only "OK". no one has seemed overly cheerful about the beginning of yet another trip around the sun. what's wrong with 007? well for me 007 is going to be a year of endings. the end of my childhood with the end of my formal education. graduation will be the end of an era, ushering in the age of adulthood. a time marked not by recess and snack-time, but meetings and rush hour. hardly something to look foreward too. 007 will also be the year that i say "see ya" to those friends from macon that will be graduating in 008. my wife included.

so, the new year, while only a few days old holds promise, yes, but also dread. lets hope that by this time next year there will be more certainty, though, knowing me, i doubt it.