England Day 3

Today was a better day. i only had one major panic attack. we started the day with a trip to the main sights in London, and quie a hike between them. James and i had lunch/ breakfast at a cute little place. while sitting there i had my panic attack. It was a bad one, complete with the shakes that almost made me vomit. James noticed and we made our way onto the tube which distracts me wonderfully. we went to Baker Street to see the Sherlock Holmes museum. i bought my mother a plate at the shop. After that i was feeling tired so we came back and i read for a while and took a nap.

LATER:
I'm feeling bad again. WE're waiting for the show to start. hopefully the show will distract me from my anxiety. i've tried to explain how im feeling to the rest of the group. mainly i'm terrified. of nothin in particular. that is the frustrating thing. My logical brain is telling me that im fine, that im safe, but the fear lobe in my brain is telling me that im in mortal danger. most of the time im on the verge of tears. mileva and i are going out to Trader Vic's tonight to get Pina Coladas. the only reason that im looking foreward to that is to tell my dad that i did it.


Even Later:
i just got back from the bar with mileva and i feel like myself again. we went to the bar from Warren Zevon's song "Warewolves of London", Trader Vic's. Its one of my dad's favorite songs so ive known it since i was a kid. the line from the song is "I saw a Warewolf drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vic's and his hair was perfect". Well my hair is never perfect, far from it, but i had a great time apart from a seemingly homeless drug dealer all in leather that sat down next to us and wouldnt leave us alone. otherwise it was a perfect evening.