England Day 4

Mileva and i met up this morning a d went to portabello road market. this has special meaning for me because when i was a kid i watched the movie "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" dozens of times. in that movie there is a whole sond and dance about Portabello Road. I bought trinkets for my fatherm my friend, and my brother's girlfriend. the man i bought my dad's present from was scottish and fun to chat with, especially when i said my last name was italian and he tried to peak with me in italian. he was completely un-understandable speaking italian with a thick scottish brogue.

Later:
I've tried to keep myself busy today and sometimes my mind moves to other things but i can always feel the fear and anxiety under the surface, like a monster, waiting for me to let my guard down to it can attack me heart and soul. To distract myself during the scariest of the plays i busy myself with number games and old lullabyes in my head. At those times when my poor brain is left to itself it turns treacherous, blinding me with panic.