Stranger than Fiction
Last night I was farted on by a man in a business suit.
Back up: My friend Lauren and I subscribe to a group on facebook called "I heart free Movies DC" I'm sure theres one in your town too. look into it.
Anyway, we get emails about once a day about movies that are free and free events happening around the city. Mostly we ignore them, unless its a movie that we really want to see, or that looks really cool from the synopsis in the email.
Last night we went to see "Whip It" a movie with Ellen Page (of Juno fame) and Alia Shawkat (from Arrested Development). It was about Roller Derby. And it was aweseome! Everyone has to see this movie. Its so kick ass. You walk out feeling like you could totally go ape shit if anyone tries to mess with you. Similar to the feeling that was once described to me by a guy friend after watching a Jet Li movie. Like, 'c'mon rascals and other unsavory characters! Try something!'
Anyway, so the film let out at about 9:30, we got free buttons and invites to go to a REAL Roller Derby exhibition on Halloween Night and Lauren somehow got a free tee shirt (Still very bitter that I didn't get one). We walked back to the Metro, got on our train, found two seats and planted.
There were a fair few people standing, as there almost always are, regardless of how many seats are available. One of the people standing near us was a business man reading a newspaper. About halfway through the ride we smell something truly awful. I asked Lauren if she pooted. She said, "no, did you?" I did not. The only other likely candidate was the business man, and we giggled at the idea.
About 10 minutes later we were pulling into a station and the business man casually dropped his newspaper. He bent over to pick it up and quickly scurried off the train. About 5 seconds later we smell it. He not only farted, you guys. He let one rip with a smell that would peel paint. And the way he did it was designed to make sure that the fart went directly into our faces. His bent over butt was literally inches from Lauren's head.
Seriously, I have not smelled anything that bad since the infamous Krispy Kreme Fart of 2006.
Back up: My friend Lauren and I subscribe to a group on facebook called "I heart free Movies DC" I'm sure theres one in your town too. look into it.
Anyway, we get emails about once a day about movies that are free and free events happening around the city. Mostly we ignore them, unless its a movie that we really want to see, or that looks really cool from the synopsis in the email.
Last night we went to see "Whip It" a movie with Ellen Page (of Juno fame) and Alia Shawkat (from Arrested Development). It was about Roller Derby. And it was aweseome! Everyone has to see this movie. Its so kick ass. You walk out feeling like you could totally go ape shit if anyone tries to mess with you. Similar to the feeling that was once described to me by a guy friend after watching a Jet Li movie. Like, 'c'mon rascals and other unsavory characters! Try something!'
Anyway, so the film let out at about 9:30, we got free buttons and invites to go to a REAL Roller Derby exhibition on Halloween Night and Lauren somehow got a free tee shirt (Still very bitter that I didn't get one). We walked back to the Metro, got on our train, found two seats and planted.
There were a fair few people standing, as there almost always are, regardless of how many seats are available. One of the people standing near us was a business man reading a newspaper. About halfway through the ride we smell something truly awful. I asked Lauren if she pooted. She said, "no, did you?" I did not. The only other likely candidate was the business man, and we giggled at the idea.
About 10 minutes later we were pulling into a station and the business man casually dropped his newspaper. He bent over to pick it up and quickly scurried off the train. About 5 seconds later we smell it. He not only farted, you guys. He let one rip with a smell that would peel paint. And the way he did it was designed to make sure that the fart went directly into our faces. His bent over butt was literally inches from Lauren's head.
Seriously, I have not smelled anything that bad since the infamous Krispy Kreme Fart of 2006.
posted by boppo @ 11:35 AM
1 Comments:
I love that you chose to memorialize this moment forever. Thanks for reminding me.
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