Ode to the perfect bag

Once, long ago, I bought the perfect bag. And now I've lost it.

Let me back up. I was going through a particularly rough patch in my life and was about to head to NYC for a day trip with a frenemy. I needed a new purse so I cruised to the mall (this was before I bought all of my purses exclusively online and with coupons). I was pretty sure I was about to get fired from my job, and so I was (inexplicably) not at all conscious of a budget. I went to Urban Outfitters. I know, I'm sorry. But in that time and in that place, it felt like a good idea.

I spent far too long hemming and hawing over their selection of bags but, finally, decided to just go with the first one I had seen and make it work. It was $50 and I figured I would use it once.

You guys, let me break this down for you. This purse was (and is) amazing. It is a distressed purple leather that is as soft as a baby's chubby legs. It has one large interior with smaller pockets in the lining. The exterior, however, has two zippered pockets ON THE SIDES! not on the flat, wide sides. Oh no. On the sides where the handle connects. That means that you can keep your SmartTrip card on one side and your work badge on the other (thus eliminating the possibility of demagnetization). These two pockets are, at first glance, about the size to fit a SmartTrip card or work badge. Upon further inspection, however, they are really large enough to stuff in an entire ziploc bag full of cheerios (for those road trip snacks) or 4 (FOUR!!) regular sized KitKat bars (same reasons...)

Then we get to the handle, oh the handle! It is single thick leather purse handle. BUT! it has a mechanism that lets you adjust its length. One may, for example, change ones purse from a one shouldered apparatus to a cross-body, bandolier style WHILE WALKING THROUGH TIMES SQUARE. I really feel that this cannot be emphasized enough. This bag is so versatile that, after one had packed it full of cheerios and KitKats (and all the rest of my regular purse miscellany) I could decide WHILE WALKING ALONG that it was too heavy and I needed to redistribute the weight. My back was eternally grateful.

Finally we come to the zipper. Oh yes, there's a zipper. An industrial strength, large toothed zipper that would have required feats of Herculean proportions to even attempt sabotage. This thing would zip over a finger if given the chance. NOTHING would make this zipper stick. And, just because we are the best purse in the world, the supple leather had enough give that I'm convinced I could have packed a week's worth of clothes in that thing and that zipper would still have zipped up. And scoffed at my attempt to thwart it.

It has been a long time since that purse and I travelled to NYC, but it is still the purse I reach for whenever I need a bag to use as a tourist. I've taken it to London, Edinburgh, and all over these United States. It has never failed me.

I am gearing up for a trip to Boston at the beginning of November and, of course, I am planning on taking my purse. AND I CAN'T FIND IT. To be completely fair, I haven't put the hours in to looking for it. I've spent probably a total of 20 minutes on the hunt for it, in two separate houses, but it's not where I was expecting it to be. And now I'm freaking out. I need my purse! I don't even know the brand, why would I??? It has never not been there. Before the month is out, I vow that I will turn both houses upside down and I will never again let my purse down like this.

I don't know if there is a patron saint of amazing purses, but if there is, someone with better saint-cred, please help and send up a sacrifice so that my purse and I can be reunited! I miss it so...