leopold and loeb

Friday, June 18, 2010

Nailin' It!

So, as most of you are well aware (since I'm assuming my entire fan base consists of my parents), I have been biting my nails since I had teeth. My parents fought long and hard to break me of the habit, scowling at me, snapping their fingers, smacking my hands out of my mouth, etc. Believe it or not, there have been times in my life when I have sucessfully given up the habit, only to be lured back in. Knowing me and the universe, blogging about this will effectively prevent me from ever really kicking the habit, but here goes anyway.

Roughly a month ago I went to brunch with some friends. The brunch was a precursor to a friends bridal shower, and after brunch we wanted to fill the intervening time with something equally girly. We discussed shopping, ice cream, nails. Well, we'd just demolished huge portions of eggs benedict, and being a sunday, most stores were closed. So nails it was. We decided on a round of pedicures, and thus I was reminded of the awesomeness of same.

You guys, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is as awesome as having someone cater to your feet. Being ticklish, I know that there are fears to overcome. But after about a minute, the tickling sensation subsides. And you are left with bliss.

For those who have never had the pleasure of a pedicure, let me lay it out for you. Those who have, feel free to skip ahead a few chapters. A pedicure starts with a warm, bubbly, scented foot bath, adjusted to suit your personal taste. Mine is usually too warm for my sensitive skin, but the manicurist is always very obliging and turns it down. So, once your feet are all nice and bubbled and warm and scented, they remove any old polish, clip and clean each toe (a must have in the summer weather when flip-flops have exposed your piggies to the weather and dirt) and then you get the filing option. This can be the scariest part. The manicurist hold up this medeval torture device and asks if you'd like your heels filed. Now me, I have these hoof-like heels. You could stick a thumbtack into my heels and I wouldn't feel it, so I ALWAYS opt for the filing. But for those who take better care of their heels between salon trips, this may be a scary idea. Once you have gotten over the initial shock though, they take off any and all dead skin on the heel, leaving a smooth, angel-like glow to your feet. Once each foot is glowing and lovely, they take a salt scrub and pummel your feet, ankles, and lower calves. And then the lotion and massage. Oh the massage! Divine.

Now the color. If you have been negligent and forgot to pick a color beforehand you can just say "red" and the lady will grab and paint. If you've picked a color, they'll grab and paint. This part is not exactly a big deal. Once painted they will actually PUT YOUR SHOES ON FOR YOU! My god. This must be how Marie Antoinette felt EVERY DAY! Such decadence. Of course if you are a novice and have not worn pedicure appropriate shoes, they will give you crap-tackular salon flip-flops. But if you are prepared, they'll put your own shoes on for you. Amazing.

So back to my original topic. This reminder of the pedicure experience that fateful sunday revealed to me the secret to quitting the nail-biting habit. Bi-monthly manicures. If a manicure is anything like the bliss of a pedcures, then there will be a huge impotes NOT to chew. Since fingernail polish is notoriously flaky, I'll have to do the manicure with every paycheck. Pedicures will happen once a month. Yes, I've already included them in my monthly budget.

This lady has the right idea. If I were more devoted, a better artist, or a millionare, I might follow her footsteps. But as it is, I'll have to suffer along with a manicure every two weeks, not one every day. They're pretty though!

And in case you were wondering why this post comes now; Tomorrow is mani-pedi day. First manicure ever, and I'm a little scared. Up until now I haven't had enough nail:finger ratio to warrant a special pedicure, but the home polishes have held me through to an appropriate length, and so tomorrow, I will be buffed, cliped and polished, hands to feet.